Friday, July 30, 2010

Frankly my dear, I don't give a damn

I think my blogging dry spell is now over. Thank God, or lack there of, I do not really know. I don't want this blog to be all about Jesus, although he'd like it to be (more on that later), so I'll just say a few things. 1. Jesus is definitely nicer than God is and I feel safer in writing this blog. 2. Jesus is kindof, how do I say this uncontroversially, egotistical? I mean, when he says jump, he expects everyone to say: how high. When he says love thy neighbor he expects everyone to have sex, right then and there. When he says do onto others as you would have done onto you, he expects you to magically get all of God's powers and help with his work load. Enough with this clever babbling, Jesus kind of wants everyone to drop everything and follow him, but honestly, I like my stuff. Can you wait, say, about eight decades? And lastly 3.The more I read the bible, the more I laugh whenever I hear the self asked rhetorical question: "What would Jesus do?". If I find out there's someone in my group of friends that wants to kill me, I'm not going to be a dumbass and let them do it. Jeez Jesus, haha, try that's so Ravening it! If Raven can do it, so can you. If I ran out of wine, and I'm in dire for it, I'm going to the store. If God tries to test me by making me fast for 40 days and nights in a desert and the devil offers me food, I will probably eat it. So sorry Jesus, I constantly ask myself: "What would House do", or "What would J.D (scrubs) do?" or, most importantly: "What would Adam do?" Having a role model always leads you to be focusing on that 2nd place prize, while all two of my eyes are on first. I mean, if life is a game, there has to be a winner. Right?
Okay, so that's enough about Jesus. CHRIST! Not you.
I honestly do not understand why people are in love with South Park. I stay up at night thinking about it. I mean, it's bad enough they're all midgets, but to add to it all, their voices are just so disgusting. I never knew a voice could literally sound so ugly that it would make me taste vommit in my mouth, but congratulations South Park, you've done it.
Speaking of sleeping, every night I've been trying to create my own dreams like they did in Inception without avail. Everytime I realize the dream is a dream, I wake up. It's killing me inside. Oh, and by the way, he wasn't dreaming. In Inception, Cob WAS not dreaming. Now to all you Pro Dreamers out there, I know you probably have a million arguments as to why he was. The kids didn't age, the top kept spinning, his life had a story tale ending, so on and so on. Now I won't address those only to say that we never knew how long Cob(Leo) was gone from his kids, the top could have fallen, and some stories do end..happily? Here's my proof though. Watch the movie again and notice that whenever he's dreaming he wears a ring on his finger. When he's not dreaming, he isn't. At the end of the movie, he has no ring on his finger. SO he wasn't dreaming. Plus the name of the girl that helped him through the 4 dreams was Ariande. Why is this important? It's important because in greek mythology, Ariande led a greek god out of this giant maze made by a horrible greek goddess and he made it out safely. So in conclusion, Suck it.
I decided that I can't decide if Inception is better than The Dark Knight. The only thing I definitely know is that Chris Nolan is a genius.
I think it's weird that I always end my blogs at midnight.
So I'm going to end my note with an update on my life for once:
I'm currently living in Davids House because my parents are at my Uncles Wedding in England
I am ridiculously jealous of the above stated fact
I am obsessed with blogs on psychology
I love the game wipeout, but I hate the show
I love reading the Bible and how no one can school me at it
I might be going to Washington D.C next thursday and I should have technically been there three days ago
I hate using I, a lot. Whenever I do, I feel egotistical and douchy. (meaning showery in french)
I love Jason Mraz..a lot.
Lastly, I love how certain people in my life can make me feel so happy and accomplished by saying the simplist things.

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